Why I’m going to see Dragon Wars tomorrow

I love good movies. I’m sure you do too. But, I also like really bad movies. So much so that my friend Chris and I sometimes rent movies that we know are rated by critics and movie-goers as being absolutely not worth the time to watch.

Dragon Wars poster

2007 Movie of the Year

I believe Dragon Wars is going to be one of these movies, so I’m jumping the gun and seeing it in theatres to maximize my loss on investment.

Here are a few select quotes from some of the critics who have seen it so far. I believe these are reason enough to buy an advanced ticket.

"The dialog sounds like it was written by those guys who translate operating instruction manuals from Chinese to English." — Robert Roten of Larmie Movie Scope

Have you ever had the privilege to read one of these manuals? The kind that of manual written by people whose seventh language is English? I’ve often marveled at these manuals so I fully expect to marvel at Dragon Wars.

"This monster film makes even the remake of Godzilla look good." — Frank Scheck of Hollywood Reporter

I loved the remake of Godzilla! This must mean that Dragon Wars is going to be awesome.

"This one’s for connoisseurs of the "totally preposterous crap" school of fantasy cinema.You know who you are: You have all the Warlock sequels on Laserdisc, the complete Leprechaun series on DVD, and go see Uwe Boll movies on opening weekend." — Luke Y. Thompson of

L.A. Weekly

O.K. So I’m not any of these people. But I do love me some Uwe Boll.

And finally, the critical review that I hope rings true tomorrow:

"It is such a breathless, delirious stew, it’s impossible not to be entertained, provided — this is crucial — you have a sense of humor." — Andy Webster of The New York Times

I consider myself to be one that has such a sense of humor and I’m wholly looking forward to watching Dragon Wars tomorrow. Sadly, I don’t think Chris is going to make it, but the rest of us shall have a grand time I’m sure. I’ll let you know how the movie is in the comments of this post.

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