3,037.5 ounces

This was originally posted on TUG in March 2004.

My wife has a problem. An addiction if you will. Not to pain killers, alcohol or any drugs for that matter, but rather to deals. Allow me to explain.

My wife’s skill set is a three-pronged sword. First, she is very good at locating ‘deals’ for food, and many other various items. Secondly, she is very good at using coupons to the fullest extent the law allows in order to bring the price of an item very near to $0.00 or below (amazing). However, the third piece to this astounding puzzle is her ability to occasionally combine these long sought after deals with a coupon to make a deal to top all deals. Further explanation is needed.

In the 4 years and almost 8 months that we’ve been married, she’s probably only spent $12.00 at the supermarket. Ok, that’s exaggerating, but the amount of money that we spend at the store would stagger even the thriftiest and most frugal person. For example, a few years back she saw the opportunity to get 2-liters of Dr. Pepper for around .8 a piece. Utilizing the coupon found underneath the Dr. Pepper label itself, and combining it with a deal that allowed for coupons to be doubled to the amount of $1.00 – this would mean that you’d only have to pay tax (pretty much) on each bottle of soda. Taking advantage of the situation, she was quick to clear out our local market of all their Dr. Pepper in a matter of minutes, and doing the same for the next few weeks.

“It’s a hobby!” – Eliza Devroe

Sure it is, but a hobby well done. Currently Eliza and I will not have to buy the following items for several years, perhaps our lifetimes – Soap, Laundry Detergent, Toothpaste, Hair Gel, Deodorant, Dawn Dissolver, Dawn Complete, Lightbulbs, Cat Food / Liter, Windex, Shaving Gel, Razors, Toothbrushes, Fabric Softner, Hand Cream, Paper plates / cups / napkins, Shampoo, Brisk Iced-tea, Tropicana Lemonade (pink or yellow), Zip-lock bags (various sizes), Mr. Clean, Pine-sol, Toilet paper, Paper towels, Sun tan lotion, Fantastic, Clorox (few varieties), Flea Killer, Conditioner, Spot-shot, Off (bug spray), Sponges, Clorox Wipes, Windex Wipes, Orange Clean Wipes, Bandaids, Powder, Vacuum Bags, Toothbrush Cleaner (?), Cereal (all types), Tea, Coffee, Hot cocoa mix, Vicks 44m, NyQuil, Tylenol (both gel caps and capsuls), Bayer, Motrin IB, Whisker Lickins’ (cat treats), and most recently CapriSun.

I am sure that there are many more items that I left out, and perhaps she could fill you in on the rest via her comments. A note about the CapriSun, I did a quick tally of our current stock pile and it appears that we have roughly 3,037.5 ounces of CapriSun that she’s aquired over the last few days. That is not counting those that are cooling in the fridge at the moment, nor the probably countless amounts that she’s given to her Mother and various other people along the way.

This message is an Ode to a talent. A talent which I do not possess, nor could stand it if I had. The relentless drive that keeps my wife going is nothing short of divine. It’s this divine drive that sometimes has my wife going through Wal-mart, Wegmans, Weiss (wow, never noticed it was WWW) and various other stores in the wee-hours of the morning.

Is it worth it? That’s something that she will have to comment on. For me, my contribution is little more than none. She thinks that I am embarrassed at her dime-a-day habit, however this message is being posted to prove that I am not. The fact that she does ‘the work she was put here to do’ is probably the reason that I’ve eaten well for the past 4 years. Some would say too well, but that’s my fault and my fault alone.

To Eliza: Thanks!

[tags]coupons, deals, discounts, eliza devroe, repost[/tags]