Richard Stallman's rider
Everyone and their mother's dog is linking to Richard Stallman's rider but it is simply too good to pass up. It is laugh-out-loud funny and so incredibly detailed that I highly recommend, if you haven't already read it, that you grab your favorite evening beverage and read the entire thing. I recommend a Jameson and cranberry...
Here's a snippet under Hospitality regarding Stallman's dislike of being offered help of any kind.
One situation where I do not need help, let alone supervision, is in crossing streets. I grew up in the middle of the world's biggest city, full of cars, and I have crossed streets without assistance even in the chaotic traffic of Bangalore and Delhi. Please just leave me alone when I cross streets.